How to get more money in less time with less stress

Step one: The Realist / Wonder

I actually don't know the first thing about how to do anything with money. Except buy books; I am good at that. And if I did know anything about making money I think I would be out in the real world striding across concrete fumbling habitually with my ring and beaming my gaze across and through the horizon. Instead of the visceral world I would break upon the earth blazing in formulas and success- a beacon of truth of one sort or another. The numbers would fly through the air just waiting for that masterful hand to raid their providence. That masterful hand, of course, would be mine and I would not sit behind a computer after a day contemplating the futility of the rat race with good friends, great friends actually who, on a day overcast and ugly, all pretended that the sun was shining across a cloudless blue sky. With my money I could prove the unprovable: money = happiness. All good research only needs benefactors. I would be the Santa sack of the world: an endless, pouring, benevolent gesture capturing the imagination of a society obsessed with all my accomplishments.

Step two: The Emerging Megalomaniac

I know it sounds evil but so do you when you chime on and on about saving society from all its ills. I'm pretty sick of it really. Here is the point: you are so content and stuffed (see the Leunig cartoon of the same name for this reference) that you have nothing to bigger to do than place those contributing members of society below you in a hypocritical rave. All production adds value and morality unto society; whilst some production is misdirected Nietzsche's theory of eternal return sees that this fluff floats off and is forgotten as if it never existed. All other goodness of industry catapults down the snowy mountain picking up speed and weight and power and terrifying beauty until it imposes itself as a juggernaut against eternity itself. All this of course is the pathway of humanity so that if we are not unified underneath the glamour of purpose our forces become unstuck and like a snowball breaking against a cliff face we scatter the earth and fall white over the entire landscape. I believe that there exists a similar downfall: Babel, supposedly their cliff face was God.

Step three: What our forgetfulness breeds! (a lament)

When all falls at the feet of eternity in a great garbage heap of hopeless exhaustion we will finally see that all human endeavour was only for the purpose of not being bored. Our time is both short and neverending but we only count for one split second burning like a rocket through the hole of forever. Today you set the catapult in time against the rest of your soul's life outside of time. Our eyes burn with the fragility of this decaying, heaving, choking husk of life and then they tire out and grow dim and light becomes hard to see apart from where it is thrust against us in a haze of neon fantastic. The cities of our sprawling stacked atop one another weep and sweat at all of the misery they have seen. And if concrete could wail we would lose our ears to the din raining on us day and night. All of this, at our hands, we spent, we bred and we nurtured because we were bored. And now plunging our heads through the entirety of infinity we have so much time to think about all of the times we forgot to take time to plan for the time in which there would be no time but instead an endless supply of it (time, that is). I don't know about you but the thought of perpetually remembering how I wasted my life tearing down a planet in order to build a machine is a thought I cannot ignore.

Step four: Reducing Stress

While the principles of stress reduction run through all of the above principles in neat, discernible lines it is also necessary to allocate space specific to stress reduction techniques. The reduction of stress can only really be examined properly by first understanding what stress is and where it is birthed from. Stress is a culmination of mental, emotional and physical weights and may manifest itself in all three in any particular combination although increasingly today's society there tends to be an increasing emphasis on physical well being and emotional fitness over mental health. Consequently mental health in the Western world is losing grip (excuse the pun). Because of this phenomenon we will tackle some strategies for reducing mental stress and anxiety first.
Remember: it is all in your head. For mental stress nothing works better than an illusionary cure, also known as a placebo. Think of something that you can trust as really relieving stress and by simply believing that it works you will see your mental health climb like a monkey. Some ideas include: squishy, coloured stress balls, sleeping, insulting your boss in shrewd sarcastic ways, pirating music, buying things, sugar pills, heroin or cocaine (even crack cocaine will do although not if you are used to A- grade purity), exercising, biting your nails, screaming at your wife and children, combing your hair till it falls out, playing golf, blogging, crying in the dark, laughing loudly at unfunny jokes, wearing clothes, being naked, organising events for your company social that involve the harm of other employees (paintball etc.) or breathing correctly.