Imagining to be a writer

I am twenty one years old. I really do not know much about anything, I am not sure what I want to do and I have no idea where life is going to take me. I do know that I do not want to be enslaved to a full time job and all the pointlessness of the chase for wealth. Fulfillment lies beyond wealth and material satisfaction. It is as though sometimes I feel by sating our immediate desire for the material we deny any deeper reality and consequently let ourselves be short changed. We sell out. Selling out to what we can see, touch, hear, smell and taste is so easy though and often it is so good. It is only through desiring a deeper truth or a more satisfying experience that we can be led to that.

I deeply wish to be a writer. I have no idea what it takes and I have no idea if I am any good; I have never taken any writing courses or studied how to write but ideas and thoughts brim in me and I have nothing to do but scrawl them down in all their incomplete, incomprehensible gibberish. The question though that supersedes me being a writer is what is it that God wants? What is God's will for my life?

One thing, in relation to Christianity, that I often think about is my failure in prayer. I am hopeless at praying and I do not really know how it works. My ideal is obviously Jesus who healed sick people with just a word (and sometimes not even that). The first thing I should say is that I do not want to be some superpowerful healer dude who just walks around selling wellness. I want to know God so well that I know God's will so well that I can heal in a word, or so that I can walk in confidence in whatever I am doing knowing that God is laying the path before me, with me and behind me.

So while I have a desire to be a writer I have no idea whether or not it is within the will of God. And if you have made it this far please remember that I do not know what I am talking about but I am hoping to incite conversation (I love using incite there because it has such a violent tone as opposed to conversation). I am only twenty one years old. And I hope things work out.