I am hoping to throw away all my axes. I spent most of my teenage years building a beautiful, dazzling collection and grinding and grinding until they were sharp enough- for what?- for anything. The biggest problem is that I never had the guts to use them- like a nuclear superpower stocking weapons for that great war that would never happen we all imitate our surroundings. The political climate of fear flowed like a waterfall from on high and I would plan and plot my relationships. Plot against my friends and family that if ever that day would arise where nuclear (family) war would break out I would be prepared with an arsenal to rival the best.
How do I throw away such fear? For I am afraid, that much is true. Now I sit in silence at home throwing prayers skyward in a bid for two things: desire and love (and also patience). My whole being winces at the idea of more and more demands but I just need this much and then I will be set.
Oh, sweet Father, Father, Father. Now speak and I will listen.
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